Living in the Shadow

If you’re like me, or most Christians one of your greatest desires is to fulfill God’s purpose for your life. Although this is a great ambition it has sadly become the focal point of Christianity for most instead of Jesus and His sacrifice. My mentor calls it the “Christian American Dream” – fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. While this is great we must not forget that the gospel of Jesus is not truly about us and our life, but instead about the life of Jesus and how He desires to continue living it through us. Galatians 2:20 states:

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself to me.”

By belief in Jesus we chose to die as He did on the cross. We now live a crucified life as stated above. We trade places with Jesus. Upon salvation we enter into an exchange agreement with God: we exchange our sin for His righteousness. We exchange our lives for His. That is why to live is Christ and to die is gain – because it is when we die to ourselves and our desires, Christ may live in us. He continues the mission He began over 2000 years ago when He walked this earth: the mission to save Humanity and reconcile the human race to the Loving Heavenly Father. So if you are a Christian, then no matter what path He specifically chooses, that is your mission: to reconcile humanity to God the Father through the gospel of Jesus.

If you truly want to fulfill your purpose that means you want to be used by God. And if you truly want to be used by God it will cost you something. No, actually it will cost you EVERYTHING. God is not calling us to live a nice life of comfort with Him in the mix. (This is what American Christianity has become today – a sprinkle of Jesus.) In the words in Judah Smith: 

“Jesus did not come to improve portions of our life but instead give us an entirely new life.”

God is calling us to forsake all.  God is calling us to be Holy. God is calling us to be different. God is calling us to be set apart. No, what God is actually calling us to be is a SHADOW.

A shadow? I don’t get it. Follow along. Keep reading.

Ezekiel 1:12, 20-21

“Wherever the Spirit would go, they went, without turning as they went.”

“Wherever the Spirit wanted to go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them, for the Spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. Where those went, these went, and when those stood, these stood; when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them, for the Spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.”

The passage above is a description of living creatures that carried the glory of God amongst the earth.  They were carriers of His glory just as we are as believers. Upon our belief in Christ we receive the Holy Spirit and the bible says He dwells in us. We become a dwelling place for God. We become carriers of His glory.

John 14:17

“You know Him for He dwells with you and will be in you.”

Back to Ezekiel – As I was reading this I became amazed at the depiction of these carriers of God’s glory. A few things stood out to me as I read and digested these verses:

1)    The creatures were immediate followers of the Spirit of God.

“Wherever the Spirit would go, they went, without turning as they went”

These creatures did not allow themselves to get distracted by their surroundings. Their eyes were fixated on the Spirit of God. They did not give their flesh time to intervence.

2)   “Without turning” – they followed God exactly as He lead. Therefore they were only a mere echo of what the Spirit was doing and saying.

3)   “Wherever the Spirit wanted to go, they went.”

They submitted their wants to God’s wants. What He wanted was what they abided by. They obviously didn’t have any wants or killed their wants. The followed and abided by only the wants and desires of a perfectly Good Heavenly Father.

4)   “When those went, these went, and when those stood, these stood; and when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them”

THEY WERE A MERE ECHO OF GOD. A SHADOW. A SHADOW HAS NO CONTROL, NO SAY. IT SIMPLY MIMICS ITS CREATOR.

Has your shadow ever done anything you didn't do? I hope not. My prayer for myself, and every Christian, is that we will take on our true identity as shadows of God. I pray that we will be like Jesus – that we will mimic only what we see the Father do and say only what the Father tells us to say. I pray that our lives become the definition of the Lord’s prayer – “on earth, as it is in Heaven”. That our lives will be pure manifestations of what has already been done in the heavenly realm. That is my hope and ambition. Will you join me? I pray you do. Pick up your cross and become a shadow today.

Until next time,

Camille4Christ

My first selfie as a shadow :)

What's my Purpose?

As a Christian I often hear the phrase “God’s purpose for my life” or question, “Lord what is your will for my life?” I hear it at church, amongst friends, and admittedly out of my mouth multiple times. As a young person in Christ that is one of our chief desires which is to know His will and purpose for our lives. “Lord, I wanna be your hands and feet! Lord, use me!” These are all great desires, Godly desires. As I was pondering over this constant questioning, the Holy Spirit helped me realize that we’ve been asking the wrong question. The wrong question, how? Well instead of asking, “Lord what is your purpose for MY life?” we should simply ask, “Lord what is Your purpose?”

Wait, why? What’s the difference? The difference is this: the former question shifts the attention to YOU and not HIM. What’s the problem with that? Well the problem is that you don’t matter. Ouch. Yes I’ll say it again: you don’t matter. See when we were Born Again in Christ we were given a new nature. In fact, by His word in 1 Corinthians 5:17 we know that we are all new creatures in Christ upon genuine belief in Him. How did I get this new status and what happened to the old me? Well the old me, the person I’ve always been, the person I knew myself as before Christ is dead. As Christians, when we decided to partake in His salvation we gave our lives away. We entered into a transaction with God the Father that said, “I’ll trade my life for Your Son Jesus’ life.” When we believe that Jesus took our punishment on the cross thereby taking our sin away we consequently give our lives away as well. If you want to keep your life that is fine you just must keep your sin and the punishment that goes along with your sin as well, which is Eternal death – Hell. But since we have entered this transaction bought by a currency of belief and faith we now live a life that is not our own. We continue to live Jesus’ life for Him through his Holy Spirit.

Still confused about your purpose? No need. According to 1Timothy 2:4 we know that God’s will, God’s purpose is “for all men to be saved and to come into the knowledge of who He is.” So there you have it. That is your purpose – to know God and make Him known. This is the gospel. This is why God sent His Son Jesus: So that ALL men may KNOW Him. This must be a daily practice. We must daily remind ourselves of the gospel and submit to living out the gospel. Every day we must say, “Lord what is your will? What is Your purpose for today?” Here is a great exercise I use that helps me truly get in the mindset of living out His purpose. I reflect on the gospel and my new life in Jesus and think, “If Jesus had the chance to be reborn as a 22 year old woman, born to Russell and Dierdra Hall, live in Houston Texas and work as a Consultant for SunGard Energy, what life would He live?” If Jesus had the opportunity to have the dynamics of my life, what would He do? This should not be a hypothetical question. This should be the question that we ask ourselves daily. This should not be a hypothetical question because this is not a hypothetical situation. This is the actual situation. Jesus came, was crucified and buried, but rose on the third day and is now ALIVE. Where is He ALIVE? In you in me. In the hearts and lives of His followers. He is alive in us. Because I live, He lives.

Until next time,

Camille4Christ

How to be Changed

The Lord has been speaking to me… I believe He’s always speaking to me. What makes the difference is the times I decide I’m ready to listen and truly hear Him. So 2014 has been full of a lot of dream planting and revelation. God showed me there is an open door marked “changed” and He’s waiting on me to walk through it. What do I need to change? A lot of things. To go the place God is trying to take me He needs me to change. Change how? In a nutshell I need to stop being lazy. I could go on into more detail but as much as I’d love to talk about all of my failures and needed areas of improvement this blog isn’t about that (thank God). All of the revelation I’ve received has made me excited but also anxious. I know you’re thinking, anxiety isn’t from God so how can that be? You’re right its not. The anxiety is self-created, self induced fear of not completing my God-ordained purpose. Philippians 4:4-6 tells us to be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition make our requests known to God. What was my request? “God I want to change.” I’m tired of being a starter and never a finisher. I’m tired of being lazy and doing things half hartedly. I’m tired of being pumped in the beginning but soon losing my fire.    T I R E D. But being tired of it isn’t going to change me. So in realizing this I made it a goal to not lose my fire by indulging in as many sermons, books, resources or whatever to keep me motivated so that I can change. In my process of doing this God told me clearly, “this stuff will encourage and motivate you but it will not change you.” Dang. Okay now what? Time to figure out a different method of being changed. Then, God spoke again “No no no you’re missing it. Stuff won’t change you. Your efforts won’t change you. Christian books, conferences, songs, and friends wont change you. Only I can do that.”

Oh yeah.

Suddenly it clicked. He was right (of course He was lol). The only way to be changed is through Christ. Through Christ how? By reading and digesting His word and spending time with Him.  Almost three years ago now, in the year 2011 my life took a radical change. I became a new creature. I was born again. I was new. Where did this change come from? The bible. Although I’d professed to being a Christian my entire life and was raised in the church I didn’t begin to change into the image of Christ until I started reading my bible. The bible is “living and active, sharper than a double edged sword.” (Hebrews 4:12).  Only something that is ALIVE  can come and birth something NEW inside of you. So if you want to be changed in Christ you must read your bible and spend time with Him. There is no other way.

Now you may be thinking “people change all the time through motivation.” Correct. There are countless example on TV and in the media of people changing their lives around. People that are not Christian lose 300 lbs, turn their life around and come to open their own business through their new burst of self confidence. Great for them. This is not us. Notice I said above if you want to be changed in Christ. To change in Christ we can’t do what the world does. We can’t self motivate until we’re blue in the face and suddenly we’re what God called us to be. No, for us, our change must be and will be through Christ. So if you’re pregnant with purpose and are ready to walk into your God given destiny, instead of trying to figure it out on your own, plan out steps 1-5, motivate yourself into this disciplined new person the first thing you need to do is get on your face before God and seek Him through His holy and written word. Through His word He will unlock the secrets of heaven and uncover the blueprint to your purpose.

With love,

Camille4Christ

Passion 2014/Expectancy

I just came back from Passion 2014 in Houston, Texas a changed woman. Changed. Inspired. Renewed. Tonight I made the decision to stop fighting God. What I mean by fighting God is me telling Him what He can do in my life, and what He can do in and through me. God has placed so many miraculous dreams into my heart that are purposed to change the world and I've kept a constant string of rebuttals. "Jesus are you serious?! Do you see how inconsistent I am?? Don't you see my lack of belief? My fear?! I'm sure you have other followers that are willing and more prepared to fulfill this dream." I was explaining this on the way home with my good friend and conference running mate Bianca, and she told me I was basically telling Jesus in so many words

"You don't know the real me." 

Those words left her mouth and pierced my heart with conviction. She was absolutely right. I was telling God, Jesus, the Creator of the universe who created me in His likeness and image, who knows me by name, who knows the very number of strands of hair on my head, who knows my thoughts before I even conceive them, who knew me in my mothers womb -- I was telling this God that He didn't know the real me. No, the thing is that I don't know the real Him. I've been seeking God for going on three years now. I've studied my bible, lead a ministry, and told numerous people about Christ and what He's done in my life. I've grown to know Him better than I ever before but in so many aspects I still don't get it. What don't I get, the gospel message? No. His grace? No. His unfailing love? No. I get that stuff and have lived by it and put my hope in it. What I don't get is how big ENORMOUS God is. Tonight I realized with clarity that I have limited God to my own human thought process and imagination. If I can't conceive it, God obviously can't do it. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All God wants us to say is YES and He will work out the sticky details in every situation. Tonight I told God yes and I am now EXPECTING for the great things He has purposed to come into fruition. But since we're on the topic of expecting, I must tell you about my recent revelation and how I even got to the conference.

I heard about Passion in 2012 and instantly wanted to go but it was held in Atlanta. I didn't have the money and forgot about it. In 2013 I saw it was coming to Houston and got excited but never made moves to buy my ticket. The money kept "getting away from me" and I ended up having to buy on the day of (first real payday at my new job). When I got to work I logged on the website and clicked "register", excited about my night to come. Suddenly, the webpage changed to "SOLD OUT"! which makes me think it sold out in that very minute of my registration. I was crushed, down all day. Even worse, this was Valentines Day and now I had absolutely no plans. As I was riding down the elevator in my building "something" told me to just walk to the Toyota Center (the conference venue) and see if there was any way I could get a ticket. I knew the chances we're slim, I'd spent all day looking at numerous ticket websites that sold the conference tickets. They too were all sold out. I work downtown and "coincidentally" a couple of blocks down from the venue. As I was walking I began to pray. I've been learning about expectancy in my faith relationship with God from one of my connect group leaders for the church I attend. I've had a hard time grasping this concept because I've over analyzed faith (who does that?? its simple.) and used the "what if its not God's will" logic to keep me bound and unexpectant of God's favor.   As I walked I began to pray and declare to God that I believe that He has already made a way for me to get into the conference, even without a ticket. I told Him I wouldn't be walking if I didn't truly believe and I'm ready for whatever adventure He was about to take me on. Walking closer and closer I told God that even if I didn't make it in I would be content with worshipping Him alone in my room that night. I reached the Toyota Center and instantly felt overwhelmed but simultaneously filled with peace. There was already a large crowd outside and in every single hand I saw a white sheet of paper which I knew was their ticket. With no plan in place, I walked across the street and let God have His way. I didn't know where to begin so I thought the best option was for me to start at begging and pleading with people in the ticket office. I knew they were most likely going to tell me it was sold out and that they were sorry. Then I thought "well this is a Christian event maybe someone will show me some GRACE" haha. Before I could even reach the ticket office to make moves on my minuscule plan a couple with a spare ticket in their hand approached ME. "Do you need a ticket?" I just stared at them in disbelief but in my mind I was screaming "HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?!!!" I finally got myself together I mumbled a strong but emotional "yes". The current price of the conference was $169 and the husband told me $100 is all he wanted. I didn't have to do any work. I didn't need to plan. All I needed to do is TRUST GOD and He PAVED THE WAY. THATS IT! "It is finished!"

Thats it. Thats all I have (for now). Expect God to be God, be obedient, and let Him have His way. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

Until next time,
Camille4Christ

Passion 2014 Houston (photo cred: me ;-) )

The Truth About Prayer

Hello -- I'm back again to share some things I have learned during yet another time of fasting. It seems like the only time I find inspiration to blog is when I'm fasting or just finishing up a fast haha. I want to blog more frequently so I offer my apologies. Anyway, as I just mentioned, I am currently on a 10 day fast with my church. In this fast we are giving up social media, and television. Additionally, I am giving up some parts of my diet. Thus far this fast has opened my eyes to a few things and I know that if I stay attentive and remain in Him then I will be opened to many more things. The biggest win of this fast thus far has been understanding prayer and how to get answered prayers. I have struggled with this for a long time because of my ignorance. I call it ignorance because all this time I have been confused about this aspect of prayer, the answer to my confusion was in the Holy Bible, God's written word. Although I have said this numerous times and claimed to believe it, EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING we need to know about this life is found in the Bible. The aspect of prayer I have always been confused about is when Jesus says in Matthew 21:22 "whatever you ask for in prayer, if you believe, you have already received." This always confused me because I know that our prayers have to be made according to God's will for them to be answered, not only by us having faith. Just because we may have faith in a particular thing or situation doesn't mean that it will happen. God may answer it totally different than what we originally asked for because it wasn't in His holy and divine will. I've heard Matthew 21:22 preached unjustly in a way that basically tells Christians that we can get anything we want if we believe - as if God created our prayers to be a blank check. I know this for a fact is untrue. 

So for almost a year now, or maybe even a little over a year, I've prayed alot prayers with doubt in my heart because I went in with the attitude of "God I know that you CAN make this happen, I'm just not sure that you will". I believed that this was the only way to be sure to have a humble heart before God -- to not really believe in anything I'm asking for and to just accept the situation as it plays out because I'm not sure what I'm praying for is in God's will anyway. Two days ago, earlier in the day before I received my revelation I'd decided that I was going to develop an outlook on life of "it is what it is." I heard another one of my Christian friends say this and decided that it was genius. I decided that my attitude would be "I'll just go hard at everything I do -- giving God my full focus and exuding 100% of my effort into every task. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn't doesn't, it is what it is." I came to this state of mind while I was "spending time" with God in prayer. Honestly I was upset and full of pride so I just decided this before I could utter any worthy prayers out of my mouth. God revealed to me later during the day that this was certainly not the outlook I wanted to have. "It is what it is" is a cop-out to not having faith. It is the easy route. It is denying the power of prayer and the relationship God has granted us to be able to come to Him with expectancy about anything. My thoughts reeked of "well in the grand scheme of things nothing matters on this earth anyway. I'm not gonna remember these worries and desires when I get to heaven. Outside of being faithful to God, this life doesn't matter." WRONG!!!!  Wrong -- on so many levels.

The psalmist in Psalm 27:13 clearly states 

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." 

This is included in the Bible because God wants us to know that although our true riches will be attained in heaven we will experience His goodness while here on earth as well. This does not limit God to only spiritual blessings such as joy, peace, and patience. God desires to bless us in ways that apply to the land of the living as well such as financial and material blessings. Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that He came to give us "life and life more abundantly." Although I believe that focus the "more abundantly" should be on the fact that because of Christ we now have peace, joy, love,  and perseverance (spiritual fruit), we should not limit God to only spiritual blessings but earthly ones as well. 

Bringing it back to my revelation: as I was preparing for sleep I decided to open up my Bible to 1 John. I know it was the Holy Spirit directing me in a way to come across what He needed me to know because my reading selection was completely random. 1 John 3:18-24 spoke to me loud and clear.

"Dear friends, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him."

Basically in layman's terms this text explains that 

1. We should not merely say that we love one another - we should prove it with our actions. Words are meaningless without application. (v. 18)
2.  Our actions will show that we belong to the truth so we should have confidence when we stand before God. (v. 19) This really spoke to me because people can portray themselves anyway they desire to the world but when approaching God we are forced to be completely honest with ourselves. Do we truly love God? Do we obey His commands? Do we say we believe but our lives show no application of the belief? Am I claiming to trust God with my relationships but still continuing to do things my own way? Do I claim to believe the whole Bible as the Holy and Divine word of God yet ignore its vital teachings such as remaining pure (being abstinent) until marriage? Well??? Are we truly doing all that we can to live a life worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ??  Or are we just accepting the plight that we are sinners and always will be so there's no use in changing?  -- What I am saying here, if we are truly honest with ourselves we will know where we stand before God. Our hearts are exposed in His presence. Although no man is worthy of God - righteous or unrighteous, the upright at heart, those who follow God's commands can have confidence that He hears them.
3. "If our hearts do condemn us" = if we feel guilty. Once again, our hearts are revealed in God's presence. We will know inherently if we are asking for something out of our own selfish gain or if what we are asking is truly so that we can be made better in Christ -- for His glory.
4. "If our hearts do not condemn us" = if we we don't feel guilty then "we have confidence before God." 

Basically, before going into a prayer about a particular issue we should assess our motives. We should sit down, write out, and meditate on the motives behind our prayers before we submit our requests to God. If our motives reveal that we are only self interested, then we should know that our prayers do not have a good chance of getting answered with a "yes". However, if our motives reveal that our hearts are pure, and that whatever we are desiring is of God, we should have BOLD CONFIDENCE in going forth to our King to make our requests known. The last part of my revelation is something that I "already knew" but has finally become real to me. James 1:6-7 states "But he must ask in faith without doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord." Basically, if you ask while doubting the power of God, you should expect nothing from Him. Therefore, in my previous mindset of "I know that you CAN do it God, I just don't know if You will" I was exuding doubt. Even if I did try to sandwich it in between praise, doubt is doubt.

All in all, I'm only on day 5 of my fast so I look forward to all else God has in store to reveal to me for my betterment. I am thankful that I can now finally approach His throne with confidence, boldness, and knowing that without a doubt, because I obey His commands, my requests will be granted. 

Until next time,

Camille4Christ

What is Success?

First off, I offer my apologies. I started this blog last December with the intent of sharing the lessons the Lord teaches me as I grow into the woman He is calling me to be. So many events have taken place in my life over the course of the last six months and the LEAST  I can do is share the goodness He has bestowed upon me. I can truly say that I've grown in wisdom over the past months because of Christ constantly interceding in my life and showing me the right way. I am now currently living out the promises the Lord made to me almost a year ago. I am living in Manhattan, New York interning at the number one investment bank in the nation. As I sit here and type this I still can't fully grasp the fullness of this blessing. Although I am here for the specific reason of interning, I know the Lord has placed me here for His glory. My schedule will be nuts (its has been nuts). I will be tired and exhausted but the Lord must remain my number one priority. Therefore  I want to start back up this blog in an attempt to keep me disciplined in Him. I want to share my revelations in hope that when He answers some of my questions He will answer some of yours too. Lastly, I'M IN NEW YORK!!!!! I HAVE to share this amazing experience  Its only been two weeks but I LOVE it here. Anyway, I came across some notes in my phone that I wrote during the last week of school and I realized that it's convicting me now just as much as it convicted me then. I was so stressed out about finals when God made me realize that I was truly wasting my time worrying about things that didn't matter. He showed me that I had a world view of success and that He now has to tear that down and show me what success really is. So..what is success? 

As a believer your success is found in Christ and the things of Christ.  When you meet The Lord on judgement day He will not review your academic transcript or work history. The things He will be most concerned with is: how much did you love? How many souls were saved because of your witness? How obedient were you to My calling? Nothing else matters. So we find peace in the world's view of shortcoming or failure because we realize that the things that are important to the world are not necessarily important to God. Does this mean that He doesn't care about our grades, career successes or achievements? Absolutely not. He simply cares MORE about the salvation of His people. Any worldly tasks we must achieve whether it be school or a certain job or position should be completed with the mind frame that Christ has placed me here in this situation for His future glory. Therefore everything WILL go according to His plan even if that means us getting a B in a class when we truly desired and worked hard for an A. The only reason you're in school is to undergo preparation for the next mission He assigns you to. So regardless of the outcome of your efforts, as long as you are being obedient to Him He will pave the way and make your path clear. 

A lot of believers struggle with the worldly mindset of wanting to impress, or be good for other people. One of my spring semester grades came out lower that I'd desired even though I'd truly given my all. I was so upset finals week not only because of my grade but because I was ashamed of what my professor thought of me. I wanted to be seen as smarter, brilliant in his eyes and the eyes of my peers. Struggling all semester long does not exude brilliance. I'm the Wall Street girl, I should be Acing everything. The Lord showed me that this a worldly mindset and us Christians must eliminate it at all costs. If we truly give our all, why does it matter when we fall short? Colossians 3:23 tells us 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

I was in a serious rut because I didn't feel good enough. Not smart enough, not righteous enough, not worthy enough. Here's the thing I had to realize: I'm not. I'm not but He is. All of the blessings we are given are not because of how good we are. In fact, its because of how bad we are! If we weren't so bad then Christ wouldn't have died in our place. I had to realize that it's nothing that I do can do to add to or take away from what God has in His plans for me. My only job is to be obedient to His calling and to serve Him fully in ALL that I do. We do not seek to fulfill worldly standards. We do not seek the applause of men. We are not validated by the praise and acclimation of men. We are justified by Christ. When eternity comes, all of the opinions of men will be utterly meaningless. They are meaningless now. The only opinion we should be worried about is Christ. The only one we should seek validation from is Christ.   

So in summary, here's what you can validate as success: loving God, serving God with your whole heart and being obedient to His commands. If we are successful in this area we will be successful in all other areas. When we focus all of our attention on Christ, He takes care of any and every situation that's going on in our lives. Want that promotion? Serve God. Want to get accepted into that grad school? Love the Lord. I am a living witness of spiritual success translating to worldly success. If you would've told me a year ago that I'd be in New York living my dream working at Goldman Sachs I'd probably think you were out of your mind. This time last year I wasn't even focused on an internship. I wanted to be closer to the Lord. I wanted to understand Him more and be more devoted to Him. I sought spiritual success and in exchange He gave me worldly success. What a mighty God we serve! I'm so unworthy! I hope this message blesses you as much as it has blessed me. Until next time...


Camille4Christ