The Truth About Prayer

Hello -- I'm back again to share some things I have learned during yet another time of fasting. It seems like the only time I find inspiration to blog is when I'm fasting or just finishing up a fast haha. I want to blog more frequently so I offer my apologies. Anyway, as I just mentioned, I am currently on a 10 day fast with my church. In this fast we are giving up social media, and television. Additionally, I am giving up some parts of my diet. Thus far this fast has opened my eyes to a few things and I know that if I stay attentive and remain in Him then I will be opened to many more things. The biggest win of this fast thus far has been understanding prayer and how to get answered prayers. I have struggled with this for a long time because of my ignorance. I call it ignorance because all this time I have been confused about this aspect of prayer, the answer to my confusion was in the Holy Bible, God's written word. Although I have said this numerous times and claimed to believe it, EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING we need to know about this life is found in the Bible. The aspect of prayer I have always been confused about is when Jesus says in Matthew 21:22 "whatever you ask for in prayer, if you believe, you have already received." This always confused me because I know that our prayers have to be made according to God's will for them to be answered, not only by us having faith. Just because we may have faith in a particular thing or situation doesn't mean that it will happen. God may answer it totally different than what we originally asked for because it wasn't in His holy and divine will. I've heard Matthew 21:22 preached unjustly in a way that basically tells Christians that we can get anything we want if we believe - as if God created our prayers to be a blank check. I know this for a fact is untrue. 

So for almost a year now, or maybe even a little over a year, I've prayed alot prayers with doubt in my heart because I went in with the attitude of "God I know that you CAN make this happen, I'm just not sure that you will". I believed that this was the only way to be sure to have a humble heart before God -- to not really believe in anything I'm asking for and to just accept the situation as it plays out because I'm not sure what I'm praying for is in God's will anyway. Two days ago, earlier in the day before I received my revelation I'd decided that I was going to develop an outlook on life of "it is what it is." I heard another one of my Christian friends say this and decided that it was genius. I decided that my attitude would be "I'll just go hard at everything I do -- giving God my full focus and exuding 100% of my effort into every task. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn't doesn't, it is what it is." I came to this state of mind while I was "spending time" with God in prayer. Honestly I was upset and full of pride so I just decided this before I could utter any worthy prayers out of my mouth. God revealed to me later during the day that this was certainly not the outlook I wanted to have. "It is what it is" is a cop-out to not having faith. It is the easy route. It is denying the power of prayer and the relationship God has granted us to be able to come to Him with expectancy about anything. My thoughts reeked of "well in the grand scheme of things nothing matters on this earth anyway. I'm not gonna remember these worries and desires when I get to heaven. Outside of being faithful to God, this life doesn't matter." WRONG!!!!  Wrong -- on so many levels.

The psalmist in Psalm 27:13 clearly states 

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." 

This is included in the Bible because God wants us to know that although our true riches will be attained in heaven we will experience His goodness while here on earth as well. This does not limit God to only spiritual blessings such as joy, peace, and patience. God desires to bless us in ways that apply to the land of the living as well such as financial and material blessings. Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that He came to give us "life and life more abundantly." Although I believe that focus the "more abundantly" should be on the fact that because of Christ we now have peace, joy, love,  and perseverance (spiritual fruit), we should not limit God to only spiritual blessings but earthly ones as well. 

Bringing it back to my revelation: as I was preparing for sleep I decided to open up my Bible to 1 John. I know it was the Holy Spirit directing me in a way to come across what He needed me to know because my reading selection was completely random. 1 John 3:18-24 spoke to me loud and clear.

"Dear friends, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him."

Basically in layman's terms this text explains that 

1. We should not merely say that we love one another - we should prove it with our actions. Words are meaningless without application. (v. 18)
2.  Our actions will show that we belong to the truth so we should have confidence when we stand before God. (v. 19) This really spoke to me because people can portray themselves anyway they desire to the world but when approaching God we are forced to be completely honest with ourselves. Do we truly love God? Do we obey His commands? Do we say we believe but our lives show no application of the belief? Am I claiming to trust God with my relationships but still continuing to do things my own way? Do I claim to believe the whole Bible as the Holy and Divine word of God yet ignore its vital teachings such as remaining pure (being abstinent) until marriage? Well??? Are we truly doing all that we can to live a life worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ??  Or are we just accepting the plight that we are sinners and always will be so there's no use in changing?  -- What I am saying here, if we are truly honest with ourselves we will know where we stand before God. Our hearts are exposed in His presence. Although no man is worthy of God - righteous or unrighteous, the upright at heart, those who follow God's commands can have confidence that He hears them.
3. "If our hearts do condemn us" = if we feel guilty. Once again, our hearts are revealed in God's presence. We will know inherently if we are asking for something out of our own selfish gain or if what we are asking is truly so that we can be made better in Christ -- for His glory.
4. "If our hearts do not condemn us" = if we we don't feel guilty then "we have confidence before God." 

Basically, before going into a prayer about a particular issue we should assess our motives. We should sit down, write out, and meditate on the motives behind our prayers before we submit our requests to God. If our motives reveal that we are only self interested, then we should know that our prayers do not have a good chance of getting answered with a "yes". However, if our motives reveal that our hearts are pure, and that whatever we are desiring is of God, we should have BOLD CONFIDENCE in going forth to our King to make our requests known. The last part of my revelation is something that I "already knew" but has finally become real to me. James 1:6-7 states "But he must ask in faith without doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord." Basically, if you ask while doubting the power of God, you should expect nothing from Him. Therefore, in my previous mindset of "I know that you CAN do it God, I just don't know if You will" I was exuding doubt. Even if I did try to sandwich it in between praise, doubt is doubt.

All in all, I'm only on day 5 of my fast so I look forward to all else God has in store to reveal to me for my betterment. I am thankful that I can now finally approach His throne with confidence, boldness, and knowing that without a doubt, because I obey His commands, my requests will be granted. 

Until next time,

Camille4Christ

What is Success?

First off, I offer my apologies. I started this blog last December with the intent of sharing the lessons the Lord teaches me as I grow into the woman He is calling me to be. So many events have taken place in my life over the course of the last six months and the LEAST  I can do is share the goodness He has bestowed upon me. I can truly say that I've grown in wisdom over the past months because of Christ constantly interceding in my life and showing me the right way. I am now currently living out the promises the Lord made to me almost a year ago. I am living in Manhattan, New York interning at the number one investment bank in the nation. As I sit here and type this I still can't fully grasp the fullness of this blessing. Although I am here for the specific reason of interning, I know the Lord has placed me here for His glory. My schedule will be nuts (its has been nuts). I will be tired and exhausted but the Lord must remain my number one priority. Therefore  I want to start back up this blog in an attempt to keep me disciplined in Him. I want to share my revelations in hope that when He answers some of my questions He will answer some of yours too. Lastly, I'M IN NEW YORK!!!!! I HAVE to share this amazing experience  Its only been two weeks but I LOVE it here. Anyway, I came across some notes in my phone that I wrote during the last week of school and I realized that it's convicting me now just as much as it convicted me then. I was so stressed out about finals when God made me realize that I was truly wasting my time worrying about things that didn't matter. He showed me that I had a world view of success and that He now has to tear that down and show me what success really is. So..what is success? 

As a believer your success is found in Christ and the things of Christ.  When you meet The Lord on judgement day He will not review your academic transcript or work history. The things He will be most concerned with is: how much did you love? How many souls were saved because of your witness? How obedient were you to My calling? Nothing else matters. So we find peace in the world's view of shortcoming or failure because we realize that the things that are important to the world are not necessarily important to God. Does this mean that He doesn't care about our grades, career successes or achievements? Absolutely not. He simply cares MORE about the salvation of His people. Any worldly tasks we must achieve whether it be school or a certain job or position should be completed with the mind frame that Christ has placed me here in this situation for His future glory. Therefore everything WILL go according to His plan even if that means us getting a B in a class when we truly desired and worked hard for an A. The only reason you're in school is to undergo preparation for the next mission He assigns you to. So regardless of the outcome of your efforts, as long as you are being obedient to Him He will pave the way and make your path clear. 

A lot of believers struggle with the worldly mindset of wanting to impress, or be good for other people. One of my spring semester grades came out lower that I'd desired even though I'd truly given my all. I was so upset finals week not only because of my grade but because I was ashamed of what my professor thought of me. I wanted to be seen as smarter, brilliant in his eyes and the eyes of my peers. Struggling all semester long does not exude brilliance. I'm the Wall Street girl, I should be Acing everything. The Lord showed me that this a worldly mindset and us Christians must eliminate it at all costs. If we truly give our all, why does it matter when we fall short? Colossians 3:23 tells us 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

I was in a serious rut because I didn't feel good enough. Not smart enough, not righteous enough, not worthy enough. Here's the thing I had to realize: I'm not. I'm not but He is. All of the blessings we are given are not because of how good we are. In fact, its because of how bad we are! If we weren't so bad then Christ wouldn't have died in our place. I had to realize that it's nothing that I do can do to add to or take away from what God has in His plans for me. My only job is to be obedient to His calling and to serve Him fully in ALL that I do. We do not seek to fulfill worldly standards. We do not seek the applause of men. We are not validated by the praise and acclimation of men. We are justified by Christ. When eternity comes, all of the opinions of men will be utterly meaningless. They are meaningless now. The only opinion we should be worried about is Christ. The only one we should seek validation from is Christ.   

So in summary, here's what you can validate as success: loving God, serving God with your whole heart and being obedient to His commands. If we are successful in this area we will be successful in all other areas. When we focus all of our attention on Christ, He takes care of any and every situation that's going on in our lives. Want that promotion? Serve God. Want to get accepted into that grad school? Love the Lord. I am a living witness of spiritual success translating to worldly success. If you would've told me a year ago that I'd be in New York living my dream working at Goldman Sachs I'd probably think you were out of your mind. This time last year I wasn't even focused on an internship. I wanted to be closer to the Lord. I wanted to understand Him more and be more devoted to Him. I sought spiritual success and in exchange He gave me worldly success. What a mighty God we serve! I'm so unworthy! I hope this message blesses you as much as it has blessed me. Until next time...


Camille4Christ

NO FAVORITISM:: THE FEAR OF GOD :: CONTINUAL OBEDIENCE

The Lord has been dealing with me (and still is dealing with me) on some issues in my life that I absolutely must share with anyone who will listen. Before I get into anything I want to apologize for neglecting this blog these past couple of months. God has been so very good to me and I owe it to Him to share with all. To be brief, if you've read any of my previous blogs you'll know that I had been in the running for an Investment Banking internship. Long story short, God revealed to be back in October that I had the internship before I even had my first interview. (I hadn't shared that part of my internship experience with you all yet but yeah there you go...I will soon write a whole blog devoted to this blessing and what I've learned in the process.) In between the time of God revealing that to me up until the end of January  I continually doubted God and refused to trust in His word. Nonetheless, because of His goodness, He still blessed me with the internship. He not only allowed me the opportunity to intern this summer on Wall Street, in Manhattan, New York, but He opened the door for me to get recruited by the number one investment bank in the nation, Goldman Sachs. So this summer that's where you'll catch me, glory be onto God. However, back to the purpose of this current blog.

Lately I've come to a point of pure disgust with myself. My "falling short" isn't falling short. I make choices everyday and lately I've continually chose not to honor God in my everyday tasks. Like this morning I chose sleep over church service which made me miss out on a really good praise and worship session. The Holy Spirit has also revealed and explained to me the concept of no favoritism. God has no favoritism. The only difference between me and an unbeliever is my obedience. There are plenty who believe that Jesus is God and that He died for our sins. Yet, they will burn for eternity. The prize is given to the Christian whose faith endures to the end. He showed me that just because He has revealed some of His plans for my life to me and just because I have the desire for ministry does not mean I am entitled to anything. Once I stop being obedient I become like any other "Christian" that is doomed to hell. God will not let me slide with disobedience because of the "weight" I can (potentially) hold in the Kingdom. If I chose not to step up to the plate, God will use someone else to accomplish what He once planned to get accomplished through me. He showed me how I was being prideful in my mindset. He showed me how I am no better than anyone else, Christian or not. I'm not entitled to anything. Not even my next breath. I had it in my mind that because God has a plan to advance His kingdom through me that He wouldn't take my life as early as tomorrow. I know that He could, but I don't think that He would because if He did who would take over Kingdom Fitness? Who would do the things He has specifically tasked me to do?? 

SOMEBODY ELSE. 

Even though this isn't one of the happiest revelations I've received, I'm thankful for the fear of God that has been restored in me. I think that is my problem along with a lot of other Christians that are called to ministry. We see how God is using us so much to bless people and we start to develop a sense of entitlement. We start to think its okay for us to "fall short" here and there and it's even okay to intentionally sin because we are Gods anointed and God understands where we're coming from. "God knows our heart".  We are friends of God. God is our friend, He wouldn't allow us to burn in hell! He wouldnt come back at a time we're not ready for Him! He wouldn't take us "too early" before we have time to repent and get back on track! 

WRONG!!!! 

God is an almighty God and He has the right to do whatever He feels, regardless if we're "ready" or not. Besides, God gives us PLENTY of signs before hand to let us know of His coming. Just because we recognize those signs do not mean we are exempt from the consequences that are to come from it. I think this is why I am so frustrated with myself at this current moment. With all of these new revelations being revealed to me I know that I have NO CHOICE but to get my act together. However, I keep doing the opposite of what I believe. I hope that this week will be better. I hope that I will apply the fear of God to my life and out of FEAR I will get it right because it seems like love isn't working. I have enough love from God. My love for Christ has not kept me from sinning lately. My love for sleep seems to be more for my love for Christ because I choose sleep continually over spending time with Him, laboring in prayer, and getting into my word. Sleep is more appealing. My love for Christ hasn't kept me devoted and committed to spending time with Him and getting into His word. Even as I type this I'm thinking about how good my sleep is going to be and how good sleep is when I KNOW that I need to pray and read my bible. 

I've done a heart check and I do not like what is being revealed. I love the things of this world more than I love Christ. It's time for a change. I URGENTLY need a change. I cannot remain in this state any longer, I refuse. 

God please show me the way out. Teach me how to love You. Help me fall back in love with You. Help me to be more disciplined in Your word. Help me be continually obedient to Your calling. Thank you for showing me how wicked I really am. Thank you for justifying me. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for the increase that is to come. Thank you in advance for revealing to me how to be assured of my salvation without being prideful. Thank you for in helping me make my words match my deeds. Thank you Father. I love you.

Camille4Christ